I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I am available for nakedness
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