when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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