Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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