ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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