tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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