No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
