I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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