I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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