and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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