yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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