ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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