What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
