Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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