you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
don't judge my taste in strippers
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
