He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
