She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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