I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
