I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
