you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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