Jerry, you need to find god
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
