It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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