She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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