okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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