omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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