So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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