Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
