i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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