i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
