if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize