didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
