In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
