are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
