Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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