There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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