My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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