And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
