hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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