My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
