hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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