i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and she was petting her beer can
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This couple is walking their pig around campus
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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