If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
