She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize