is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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