at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
