I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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