i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
