You just made me feel so damn special
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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