Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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