so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
