im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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