Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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