I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
