just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
