ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
