im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
