It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
