let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
