im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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