You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
