I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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