Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
