I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
