you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
