I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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