how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
