oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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